Daydreaming is like a memory in present tense

I’ve sometimes been asked what it feels like to immersively daydream. And although, to me, it comes as naturally as breathing, it’s surprisingly hard to explain to someone who’s never experienced it. I see, hear, and feel every detail, but I’m not hallucinating. I know my daydreams aren’t real, and yet they’re real to me.Continue reading “Daydreaming is like a memory in present tense”

Should I be concerned about my child’s daydreaming?

My earliest memories of daydreaming are from when I was four years old, but I think I’ve always been a daydreamer. I believe that all immersive and maladaptive daydreamers are born immersive daydreamers. In the beginning, our daydreaming isn’t harmful. But my daydreaming first became maladaptive when I was eight years old, so it’s definitelyContinue reading “Should I be concerned about my child’s daydreaming?”

How being an immersive daydreamer saved my life

10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. That’s something that’s very close to my heart now. Less than a year ago, I made the decision to end my life. But my daydreaming saved me. And I finally feel ready to write about how that happened. It was October 2021, and I was heading for burnout.Continue reading “How being an immersive daydreamer saved my life”

Don’t fight the wrong battle

As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself. Bessel A. van der Kolk Bessel van der Kolk’s words are particularly relevant to daydreamers. For all the harm that maladaptive daydreaming can do, it’s important to remember that all maladaptive daydreamers were born immersive daydreamers. Our daydreaming isContinue reading “Don’t fight the wrong battle”

Is it safe to just stop daydreaming?

If maladaptive daydreaming is stopping you from living your real life, you might be thinking that the solution is to stop daydreaming. But it’s very rarely that simple. For a start, you can’t change the way your brain’s wired just by wishing it to be different. If you have maladaptive daydreaming disorder, you were bornContinue reading “Is it safe to just stop daydreaming?”

The connection between daydreaming and music

This is a speculative post. I want to say that up front, because I’m unusual among daydreamers: music isn’t, and never has been, part of my daydreaming experience. In fact, I’ve often used music to pull me out of a daydream. When I need to stop daydreaming and focus on real life, listening to musicContinue reading “The connection between daydreaming and music”

Nine other reasons to get your maladaptive daydreaming under control

If you’re struggling with maladaptive daydreaming disorder, you already know how much time your daydreaming is stealing from you. It’s not unusual for maladaptive daydreamers to spend upwards of four hours a day lost in fantasy. That’s more than a whole day every week, or two months out of every year. If you’re a maladaptiveContinue reading “Nine other reasons to get your maladaptive daydreaming under control”

Is immersive daydreaming a form of self-hypnosis?

When I was a child, my favourite place to daydream was in the garden at the back of our house. I used to bounce a ball off the back wall of the house over and over again. Throw, bounce, catch, throw, bounce, catch. I could go on like that for hours; it helped me toContinue reading “Is immersive daydreaming a form of self-hypnosis?”

Why daydreamers find it hard to step out of their comfort zone, and why we need to

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” Neale Donald Walsch Our biggest successes and most worthwhile achievements come from taking on challenges that stretch us or that, at least to begin with, make us uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with spending much of your time in your comfort zone, but if you never pushContinue reading “Why daydreamers find it hard to step out of their comfort zone, and why we need to”

So you’ve just found out there’s a name for this: now what?

Coming across the term maladaptive daydreaming disorder for the first time can be a light-bulb moment. Suddenly everything falls into place. You have a name for this thing you’ve been doing all your life, and, more importantly, you now know that other people do it too. But as the initial excitement subsides, you’re likely toContinue reading “So you’ve just found out there’s a name for this: now what?”