Validation: what it is and how to get it

It’s very common to daydream about success. It can show up in different ways; we might daydream about being the natural leader of our friendship group, making a breakthrough that wins us a prestigious award, rescuing someone from certain death, or saving the world from some impending crisis. Whatever the plot, what we’re really lookingContinue reading “Validation: what it is and how to get it”

Negative daydreams, part 2. Using DBT to create a calm alternative to distressing themes

Last week, I explored some possible reasons why we might daydream about things that upset us. Here, I’m going to look at how a technique from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can help us break out of a cycle of distressing daydreams. This technique, called “IMPROVE the moment”, is a crisis-management technique. That means it doesn’tContinue reading “Negative daydreams, part 2. Using DBT to create a calm alternative to distressing themes”

Negative daydreams, part 1: why do we daydream about upsetting things?

Although many of us have difficulty limiting the amount of time we spend daydreaming, most of us have at least some control over what we daydream about. Our daydreams are so vivid that they can generate real and intense emotional responses. So why is it that we sometimes daydream upsetting scenes that cause us veryContinue reading “Negative daydreams, part 1: why do we daydream about upsetting things?”

Unravelling “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” from a daydreamer’s perspective

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is often referred to as the classic depiction of immersive/maladaptive daydreaming. Originally a short story by James Thurber, it was published in The New Yorker in 1939. It has since been the inspiration for two films of the same name: one in 1947 and the other in 2013. IContinue reading “Unravelling “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” from a daydreamer’s perspective”

A parallel world

Ever since I discovered that immersive daydreaming is a real thing, I’ve been looking for ways of using it to my benefit. One of my more successful experiments in harnessing the power of immersive daydreaming has been the creation of my parallel world. I created my parallel world as a thought experiment into how myContinue reading “A parallel world”