Ending a daydream relationship

It’s common to daydream about romantic relationships. And it’s possible to fall deeply in love with someone you’re only dating in your imagination. In fact, it’s possible to fall in love with someone who doesn’t even exist. Sometimes daydream relationships can endure for years and be a source of comfort and inspiration. But sometimes youContinue reading “Ending a daydream relationship”

Are many novelists immersive daydreamers?

When I was a teenager, I assumed that one day I would be a famous novelist. It seemed obvious to me that since I spent so much of my time crafting these detailed stories in my head, I would eventually build my career around it. Many daydreamers feel the same way. As our plots becomeContinue reading “Are many novelists immersive daydreamers?”

How being an immersive daydreamer saved my life

10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. That’s something that’s very close to my heart now. Less than a year ago, I made the decision to end my life. But my daydreaming saved me. And I finally feel ready to write about how that happened. It was October 2021, and I was heading for burnout.Continue reading “How being an immersive daydreamer saved my life”

The difference between a daydream relationship and limerence

At one time or another, most of us have mentally dated someone we’re not involved with in real life, whether that’s someone who’s unavailable or not interested, a celebrity we have a crush on, or a character we’ve invented to fill a need for connection and intimacy. But when we daydream about a real person,Continue reading “The difference between a daydream relationship and limerence”

Three ways my imaginary friends help me in real life

Since I started consciously using my daydreaming to enhance my real life, two of my characters have evolved beyond the plot and become a key part of how I succeed in life. So for the purposes of this post, I’m going to draw a distinction between characters and imaginary friends. My characters (I probably haveContinue reading “Three ways my imaginary friends help me in real life”

Acknowledging the reality of your daydreams

It’s very easy to dismiss our daydreams as pure fantasy, and to draw a very firm distinction between the reality of our real life and the fiction of our daydream world. But it’s worth remembering that even though your daydream world only exists in your head, there are aspects of your daydreaming that reflect whoContinue reading “Acknowledging the reality of your daydreams”

Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who only exists in your head?

A fundamental part of the way we daydream is that we make up characters. They might be completely fictional, brought in when the plot line requires them, or they might be based on someone we know or wish we knew. If these characters stick around for any length of time, it’s likely we’ll become emotionallyContinue reading “Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who only exists in your head?”

Real-life friends and imaginary friends

Life can be a lonely journey if we don’t have at least a few good friends to accompany us along the way. I’ve been lucky enough to make some good friends during each of the major phases of my life – people who tolerate my inconsistency, disorganisation and long periods of silence. I am gratefulContinue reading “Real-life friends and imaginary friends”

Keeping the separation

One of the things that distinguishes maladaptive daydreaming from other mental health conditions such as schizophrenia and fantasy-prone personality disorder is that we daydreamers can always tell the difference between reality and daydreaming. We know that our daydreams exist only in our minds, that they aren’t real. But many of us bring people that weContinue reading “Keeping the separation”

Getting to know your inner champion

Regardless of our daydreaming style, we all have an inner critic. It’s that voice in our heads that tells us we aren’t good enough, or we aren’t clever enough, or we aren’t worthy enough, thereby sabotaging our attempts to move forward in life. Odd though it may sound, our inner critic is trying to keepContinue reading “Getting to know your inner champion”