The negative emotions your daydreaming is trying to protect you from

There are some experiences and emotions that immersive and maladaptive daydreamers don’t experience as often as most people, if at all. Sometimes this is a good thing – it’s great to have a range of tools for dealing with negative emotions. But it can also be damaging. We feel emotions for a reason, and ifContinue reading “The negative emotions your daydreaming is trying to protect you from”

Why daydreaming is bad for our emotional intelligence

I struggle to feel emotions physically. My mind will tell me I’m feeling joy or frustration or disappointment, but it’s difficult for me to connect that emotion to physical sensations in my body. I don’t experience anger as a rush of heat or energy, I don’t experience fear as a tightness in my stomach, IContinue reading “Why daydreaming is bad for our emotional intelligence”

Learning to tolerate discomfort

We daydreamers tend to have difficulty tolerating unwanted feelings and emotions. I think it’s because we never have to. When real life becomes uncomfortable, we can disappear to a better place in an instant; and while we’re there, our real-life problems seem comfortably far away. But the problem with doing this is that we don’tContinue reading “Learning to tolerate discomfort”

Negative daydreams, part 2. Using DBT to create a calm alternative to distressing themes

Last week, I explored some possible reasons why we might daydream about things that upset us. Here, I’m going to look at how a technique from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can help us break out of a cycle of distressing daydreams. This technique, called “IMPROVE the moment”, is a crisis-management technique. That means it doesn’tContinue reading “Negative daydreams, part 2. Using DBT to create a calm alternative to distressing themes”

Immersive daydreaming and flow – distinctions and similarities

Professor Eli Somer describes immersive and maladaptive daydreaming as states of dissociative absorption. Let’s break down what that means. Absorption is the process of becoming absorbed, focussing or concentrating intently on one thing and ignoring any distractions. Dissociation means a disconnection or separation. When we become dissociated, we become detached from reality and lose ourContinue reading “Immersive daydreaming and flow – distinctions and similarities”

Healing my inner child – a daydreaming experiment

In the last few weeks, I’ve realised that many of my negative thoughts and emotions come to me in the voice of a traumatised yet defiant seven-year-old stamping her foot and shouting that life isn’t fair. I’ve been asking myself why my wounded inner child shows up as a seven-year-old, and I think it’s becauseContinue reading “Healing my inner child – a daydreaming experiment”

The High 5 Habit, daydreamer style

I watched a video by Mel Robbins last week about her new book, The High 5 Habit and was inspired to sign up for The High 5 Challenge. So what exactly is the High 5 Habit, and how does it fit into a daydreamer’s lifestyle? The High 5 Habit is simply this: every morning whenContinue reading “The High 5 Habit, daydreamer style”

Learning to make choices and trust your intuition

Navigating the complexities of life involves making decisions. Some decisions can have profound consequences for the way life unfolds, so it’s natural to be afraid of making the wrong choice. We can make choices in a logical, left-brained way, where we carefully list the pros and cons of each option, look at the likely consequences,Continue reading “Learning to make choices and trust your intuition”

What your daydreams can tell you about what’s missing in your life

Maladaptive daydreaming often has its roots in a need to escape. Something in real life is too painful to deal with, or is outside our control, so we retreat into a fantasy life to escape from it. But for many immersive and maladaptive daydreamers, it can also work the other way round. Instead of beingContinue reading “What your daydreams can tell you about what’s missing in your life”

Moving forward when the future is uncertain or out of your control

Do you ever think that everything will be OK when you get a new job/your crush notices you/you have time/conditions are perfect, etc? I think we daydreamers do this a lot. In our daydream worlds, we can make everything perfect. We can control everything. So when confronted with a real-life situation that’s outside our control,Continue reading “Moving forward when the future is uncertain or out of your control”