The negative emotions your daydreaming is trying to protect you from

There are some experiences and emotions that immersive and maladaptive daydreamers don’t experience as often as most people, if at all. Sometimes this is a good thing – it’s great to have a range of tools for dealing with negative emotions. But it can also be damaging. We feel emotions for a reason, and ifContinue reading “The negative emotions your daydreaming is trying to protect you from”

Why daydreaming is bad for our emotional intelligence

I struggle to feel emotions physically. My mind will tell me I’m feeling joy or frustration or disappointment, but it’s difficult for me to connect that emotion to physical sensations in my body. I don’t experience anger as a rush of heat or energy, I don’t experience fear as a tightness in my stomach, IContinue reading “Why daydreaming is bad for our emotional intelligence”

Learning to tolerate discomfort

We daydreamers tend to have difficulty tolerating unwanted feelings and emotions. I think it’s because we never have to. When real life becomes uncomfortable, we can disappear to a better place in an instant; and while we’re there, our real-life problems seem comfortably far away. But the problem with doing this is that we don’tContinue reading “Learning to tolerate discomfort”

Negative daydreams, part 1: why do we daydream about upsetting things?

Although many of us have difficulty limiting the amount of time we spend daydreaming, most of us have at least some control over what we daydream about. Our daydreams are so vivid that they can generate real and intense emotional responses. So why is it that we sometimes daydream upsetting scenes that cause us veryContinue reading “Negative daydreams, part 1: why do we daydream about upsetting things?”

Healing my inner child – a daydreaming experiment

In the last few weeks, I’ve realised that many of my negative thoughts and emotions come to me in the voice of a traumatised yet defiant seven-year-old stamping her foot and shouting that life isn’t fair. I’ve been asking myself why my wounded inner child shows up as a seven-year-old, and I think it’s becauseContinue reading “Healing my inner child – a daydreaming experiment”

Guilt and shame

Guilt and shame are two emotions that are familiar to many of us, but if you’ve been feeling guilty or ashamed of your daydreaming, it’s worth considering the difference between them and what you can do to reduce the suffering they all-too-often cause.  Guilt We feel guilt when we’ve behaved in a way that goesContinue reading “Guilt and shame”

How to be as awesome in real life as you are in your daydreams

I’ve written before about why it can be hard for daydreamers to set goals. But despite that, we all have things we want to achieve, whether that’s getting a promotion, buying a bigger house or just finding the courage to join the local choir. And the good news is that you can use the talentsContinue reading “How to be as awesome in real life as you are in your daydreams”

Are daydreamers more prone to burnout and mental exhaustion?

Are daydreamers more prone to burnout and mental exhaustion? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself over the last few weeks. I suspect I’ve been suffering from burnout for the last six months or so, but I’ve been blaming pressure of work, the difficulties of balancing work and family life during the pandemic, uncertainty aboutContinue reading “Are daydreamers more prone to burnout and mental exhaustion?”

Micro-daydreaming as a way to manage your emotional state

One of the differences between being an immersive daydreamer and being a maladaptive daydreamer is that if you’re an immersive daydreamer, you can control your daydreaming, rather than letting it control you. You can make your daydreaming work for you so that it becomes an asset that helps you get ahead in your real life.Continue reading “Micro-daydreaming as a way to manage your emotional state”

When stress becomes a habit – and your daydreams just stress you more

Many of us began daydreaming to escape from something stressful that was going on in our lives. Daydreaming helped us get away from the stressful situation, but it did nothing to solve the problem; the stress was still there every time we returned to reality. Depending on how old we were at the time, andContinue reading “When stress becomes a habit – and your daydreams just stress you more”