Ending a daydream relationship

It’s common to daydream about romantic relationships. And it’s possible to fall deeply in love with someone you’re only dating in your imagination. In fact, it’s possible to fall in love with someone who doesn’t even exist. Sometimes daydream relationships can endure for years and be a source of comfort and inspiration. But sometimes youContinue reading “Ending a daydream relationship”

Validation: what it is and how to get it

It’s very common to daydream about success. It can show up in different ways; we might daydream about being the natural leader of our friendship group, making a breakthrough that wins us a prestigious award, rescuing someone from certain death, or saving the world from some impending crisis. Whatever the plot, what we’re really lookingContinue reading “Validation: what it is and how to get it”

Ten myths about maladaptive daydreaming that could be increasing your suffering

Having maladaptive daydreaming disorder is tough. But it’s often made harder by the misinformation that surrounds what it still a new and little-known mental-health condition. The following are just some of the unhelpful myths about immersive and maladaptive daydreaming that could be causing you unnecessary anxiety. 1. All fantastical daydreaming is maladaptive daydreaming Maladaptive daydreamingContinue reading “Ten myths about maladaptive daydreaming that could be increasing your suffering”

The difference between a daydream relationship and limerence

At one time or another, most of us have mentally dated someone we’re not involved with in real life, whether that’s someone who’s unavailable or not interested, a celebrity we have a crush on, or a character we’ve invented to fill a need for connection and intimacy. But when we daydream about a real person,Continue reading “The difference between a daydream relationship and limerence”

Three ways my imaginary friends help me in real life

Since I started consciously using my daydreaming to enhance my real life, two of my characters have evolved beyond the plot and become a key part of how I succeed in life. So for the purposes of this post, I’m going to draw a distinction between characters and imaginary friends. My characters (I probably haveContinue reading “Three ways my imaginary friends help me in real life”

Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who only exists in your head?

A fundamental part of the way we daydream is that we make up characters. They might be completely fictional, brought in when the plot line requires them, or they might be based on someone we know or wish we knew. If these characters stick around for any length of time, it’s likely we’ll become emotionallyContinue reading “Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who only exists in your head?”

What would you be most afraid of losing if you gave up daydreaming?

Maladaptive daydreamers often think that life would be better if they could stop daydreaming. I’m not convinced that it’s possible to stop completely, because our brains are wired to think in this way; we don’t have the same thought patterns as normative daydreamers. But there is another reason why many maladaptive daydreamers find it difficultContinue reading “What would you be most afraid of losing if you gave up daydreaming?”

Micro-daydreaming as a way to manage your emotional state

One of the differences between being an immersive daydreamer and being a maladaptive daydreamer is that if you’re an immersive daydreamer, you can control your daydreaming, rather than letting it control you. You can make your daydreaming work for you so that it becomes an asset that helps you get ahead in your real life.Continue reading “Micro-daydreaming as a way to manage your emotional state”

Unravelling “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” from a daydreamer’s perspective

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is often referred to as the classic depiction of immersive/maladaptive daydreaming. Originally a short story by James Thurber, it was published in The New Yorker in 1939. It has since been the inspiration for two films of the same name: one in 1947 and the other in 2013. IContinue reading “Unravelling “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” from a daydreamer’s perspective”

What your daydreams can tell you about what’s missing in your life

Maladaptive daydreaming often has its roots in a need to escape. Something in real life is too painful to deal with, or is outside our control, so we retreat into a fantasy life to escape from it. But for many immersive and maladaptive daydreamers, it can also work the other way round. Instead of beingContinue reading “What your daydreams can tell you about what’s missing in your life”